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What Is Positive Discipline?

Positive Discipline is a training program developed by Dr Jane Nelsen and Lynn Lott (family therapists) in the US in the 1980s. It is based on the work of two people, very much ahead of their times; Austrian psychiatrists, Alfred Adler (1870-1937) and Rudolf Dreikurs (1897-1972). 

Masters of Positive Discipline, Adolf Adler, Rudolf Dreikurs, Jane Nelsen and Lynn Lott

The Adlerian approach and the founding principles of Positive Discipline:

  • The Adlerian approach is global. It takes into account feelings, thoughts and decisions of the individual, including family, social and professional
  • Each individual deserves respect and dignity.
  • Every human being needs to have a sense of belonging to a community and the ability to contribute to the well-being of that community (Gemeinschaftsgefühl).
  • Encouragement, which focuses on the strengths of the individual, enables constructive change.
  • All behavior has a purpose.
  • Children develop beliefs from their experiences, which influence their behavior throughout their lives.
  • Everyone’s freedom comes with responsibility.

Definition of the words ‘Discipline’ and ‘Positive’.

The definition of the word “discipline” varies according to individuals and cultures. It seems appropriate to redefine its meaning:

DISCIPLINE: From Latin, disciplina means “teaching”, the action of instructing, and discipulus -“pupil”- the one who learns through the instruction of a teacher. Discipline has the vocation to teach, not to punish nor to submit to an authority.

POSITIVE:  “What you focus on, grows” signifies that focusing on an individual’s strengths will make them grow. It also demands having an open mind to see difficulties or mistakes as learning opportunities.

Positive Discipline is designed to teach young people to become responsible, respectful and resourceful members of their communities. It teaches important social and life skills in a manner that is deeply respectful and encouraging for both children and adults.

If you are a parent, teacher, in the work place or, want to improve your relationship with your partner, the Positive Discipline philosophy will provide you with applicable tools that can make a difference in your life.

How and Why does it work?

Recent research tells us that children are “hardwired” from birth to connect with others, and that children who feel a sense of connection to their community, family, and school are less likely to misbehave.  And the same applies for adults.

Challenging behavior stems from the individual not feeling a sense of belonging (connections) and/or significance (contribution).  If one or both of these two basic human needs is not met the child and/or adult will find a way of feeling belonging and significance, even if it’s not in a helpful way.

One ground-breaking tool is the Mistaken Goals.  Rudolf Dreikurs recognized four mistaken goals (negative ways of achieving belonging and significance); attention, power, revenge, and assumed inadequacy.

Positive Discipline will teach you how to identify these mistaken beliefs as they appear, and give you strategies and tools to use in the moment.

If we can change the beliefs, we can change the behavior!

With the increasing pressure to excel at parenting, at work, and personal relationships, it’s easy to feel stressed and dissatisfied. Positive Discipline workshops and coaching sessions will help you find solutions and move forward.

 

Want to know more?  Click below

For families and schools

For leaders and team members in the workplace

How did it all start for me?

Contact me now to find out more!

Lynn Lott, Izumi Takase and Jane Nelson

About Positive Discipline

This is an extract from Wikipedia:

Positive Discipline (or PD) is a discipline model used by schools, and in parenting, that focuses on the positive points of behaviour, based on the idea that there are no bad children, just good and bad behaviors. You can teach and reinforce the good behaviors while weaning the bad behaviors without hurting the child verbally or physically. People engaging in positive discipline are not ignoring problems. Rather, they are actively involved in helping their child learn how to handle situations more appropriately while remaining calm, friendly and respectful to the children themselves. Positive discipline includes a number of different techniques that, used in combination, can lead to a more effective way for parents to manage their kids behaviour, or for teachers to manage groups of students. Some of these are listed below. Positive Behavior Support (PBS) is a structured, open-ended model that many parents and schools follow. It promotes positive decision making, teaching expectations to children early, and encouraging positive behaviors.[1]

When I experienced the need for a different way to raise my teenage son, I discovered Positive Discipline.

This is an extract from the official PD website by Dr. Jane Nelsen:

QUOTE

Positive Discipline is a program developed by Dr. Jane Nelsen. It is based on the work of Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs and designed to teach young people to become responsible, respectful and resourceful members of their communities. Positive Discipline teaches important social and life skills in a manner that is deeply respectful and encouraging for both children and adults (including parents, teachers, childcare providers, youth workers, and others).

Recent research tells us that children are hardwired from birth to connect with others, and that children who feel a sense of connection to their community, family, and school are less likely to misbehave. To be successful, contributing members of their community, children must learn necessary social and life skills. Positive Discipline is based on the understanding that discipline must be taught and that discipline teaches.

UNQUOTE

 

Post-It map of tools for Positive Discipline in English
The Five Criteria For Positive Discipline

  1. Helps children feel a sense of connection. (Belonging and significance)
  2. Is mutually respectful and encouraging. (Kind and firm at the same time.)
  3. Is effective long – term. (Considers what the child is thinking, feeling, learning, and deciding about himself and his world – and what to do in the future to survive or to thrive.)
  4. Teaches important social and life skills. (Respect, concern for others, problem solving, and cooperation as well as the skills to contribute to the home, school or larger community.)
  5. Invites children to discover how capable they are. (Encourages the constructive use of personal power and autonomy.)

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